Refinding & Refining Nurture Thyself, For Myself, 20 Years later!
As most people do, I imagined starting a new phase, a new chapter, a new life once I hit that half century mark of 50; but to my dismay, 50 came in and out just as any other year; then 51 came, then 52 and still nothing new! No new ideas, no life revelations, no dreams deferred coming alive, nothing! I sat still for over 3 years and God, the Universe or whatever you call it, gave me nothing! Until I hit 53!
53 showed up and everything started to peacefully smooth and blend into place! The Revelation I’d been waiting on for over 3 years finally arrived. But here’s the kicker, it didn’t arrive as I thought it would! It took 3 years of praying, seeking, searching, feeling empty, feeling as if God was through with me, 3 years of ridding me of bad energy, bad friendships (or what I thought were friendships), and bad personal habits and flooding me with LOTS of self-reflection and self-awareness for it to arrived and HERE “IT” IS, “The Revelation!”
So what does “The Revelation” look like? It looks different, but very familiar to 20 years ago. It looks like me “Refinding & Refining Nurture Thyself” 20 years later! … But This time, I’m not trying to Nurture myself while I nurture others, this time I’m nurturing myself while I get used to NOT nurturing others! This time I’m getting used to feelings of emptiness, feelings of lost, feelings of uncomfortableness, and of not having to juggle my world and my family’s world. This time I’m realizing I have to make myself get up and take care of me and not just sit around eating cookies and cream because I have the time and don’t have my family to care for on an everyday bases. This time I have total freedom to Nurture Myself and sometimes Freedom can be so freeing until it can make you lazy, unproductive and neglectful of even yourself!
This Revelation has brought newness to my life, it has brought a new sense of adventure which includes but is not all-inclusive to daily meditations, practicing mindfulness, fitness regimens, purposeful eating, nurturing my nutritional habits and more importantly embracing an old, but new sense of True Freedom; and a new awareness of Nurturing Myself!
So here I am at 53 years old refinding and refining something I started over 20 years ago; But this time the message is not just to Nurture Myself while I Nurture my family. This time the message is to Nurture Myself because I finally have TOTAL FREEDOM to do it, not for my family; but for Myself!
Always In His Grace & Gratitude!
Toinette (aka) Toni